Wisdom

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Wisdom #841: Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.

Wisdom #358: Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Wisdom #552: The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

Wisdom #1249: Life is like pudding; soft and squishy.

Wisdom #1158: If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you.

Wisdom #1550: This town needs an enema.

Wisdom #106: Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Wisdom #895: Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths.