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Wisdom #1433: Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart.

Wisdom #1404: Rush Limbaugh: Radio's answer to Professional Wrestling

Wisdom #371: Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Wisdom #507: If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.

Wisdom #204: Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Wisdom #1434: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Wisdom #65: There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Wisdom #1208: It would be absurd to leave the Suez Canal and the Panama Canal to the unfettered control of the populations through whose territory they pass.

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